BALTIGQ+'s Q-Tips and Highlights
Queer culture and lifestyle is a dynamic and intricate system of experiences that is constantly evolving. For many, this is a huge adjustment that can be a difficult to navigate. Whether it be questioning, coming out, discovering or just experiencing queerness, there is a lot of new information and lessons that one will go through. A question that we love to ask in our interviews is "If you could impart advice, tips, or guides to a younger version of yourself, what would they be? " Here are is a selection of those tips offered and other interview highlights from our interviewees in hopes that they can help you or a friend as they experience queerness.
To read more from the interviews, check out our interviews page.
BALTIGQ+'s Q-Tips and Highlights
Queer culture and lifestyle is a dynamic and intricate system of experiences that is constantly evolving. For many, this is a huge adjustment that can be a difficult to navigate. Whether it be questioning, coming out, discovering or just experiencing queerness, there is a lot of new information and lessons that one will go through. A question that we love to ask in our interviews is "If you could impart advice, tips, or guides to a younger version of yourself, what would they be? " Here are is a selection of those tips offered and other interview highlights from our interviewees in hopes that they can help you or a friend as they experience queerness.
To read more from the interviews, check out our interviews page.
"If you are closeted and have found someone who is also attracted to you, to try not to discount your happiness, if you can, for the sake of fitting into societal and familial expectations (like religion you are obligated to or keeping your homophobic friends or obeying your homophobic parents...etc.) I think I realized that it is most likely worth it to prioritize yourself and live your life for yourself."
"I think in media, queer people are hypersexualized and only considered ‘okay’ by straight people if they don’t bother anyone with their ‘gayness’. In reality, we have high standards just like anyone else and would probably be not attracted to anyone who feels this way."
-Doris
"Sometimes, cis people assume that a trans person choosing to embrace certain elements of masculinity or femininity means that that person is trying to look like a man or a woman. This assumption is so harmful - not only does it punish trans people who cannot or choose not to pass or align with the visual markers of vanilla genders, (sorry cis ppl! lmao) it reinforces the idea that there are valid and invalid ways to be trans."
Millennials, especially those in queer circles, would not be the same without the presence of trans women of color on social media. It’s not an accident that from memes to fashion, trans girls are experiencing more visibility than ever before. This has both positive and negative effects: while many of the girls can get their clout and get their tens, it is easier to become objectified by cis people’s desire to consume our aesthetics and
culture."
-Juniper
"I really hated the idea of coming out. Not because I was afraid of it (although I partially was) but mostly because it felt really self important and I didn’t think liking boys was a big deal and didn’t feel like I needed to sit everyone down and reveal a BIG SECRET. I can understand why to some people see it is a very important thing to do, but I really was not a fan personally. Regardless I did end up having that moment with my family, but more like I just kind of casually mentioned it with the flow of conversation."
"To my past self: finding empowerment and beauty in embracing femininity doesn’t mean you are any less of a boy."
-Andres
"As a gay man there is a lot of pressure to be masculine in both physical build and fashion choices. Being able to pass as straight is a fetishized trait. As an Asian male I’ve already been desexualized and feminized by society in a way that puts a lot of pressure on me to pursue masculine ideals…a pressure that is only heightened in the context of LBGTQ+ circles. I’ve recently started to totally reject this and capitalize on the traits that I was blessed with as a Southeast Asian queer man. I’ve stopped trying to be “handsome” because I feel like “handsomeness” is just beauty filtered through a patriarchy. I know that beauty has a lot more to do with presence than it does with a laundry list of gender specific traits. I love fashion that makes me feel beautiful, not handsome."
"There will always be someone who has better technical skills than you, more inventive ideas, and is more adored. But the only person who controls how hard you work is yourself."
-Anthony
"I haven’t shared my identity with them because I don’t want questions, especially when I don’t yet have answers. I have a feeling they would keep loving me and that is a privilege, at the same time I think they are often inclined to love me as the person they want me to be. To be honest, I think my mom knows I am queer because of some things she has discovered on the internet but I’m not sure if we’ll ever talk about it. Right now, that’s okay with me. I love my mom as she is I hope she loves me as I am too. I’m not ready and that’s alright."
-Tony
"I still have to unlearn a lot of “norms” that I was exposed to growing up because a company decided only one kind of romance sells. I think personally going into a queer relationship there was a lot more I didn’t know, because there wasn’t a lot of media telling me how I should act, but as a result there is a lot more communication and growing together with my significant other."
-Clarissa
“You have agency over your body! Don’t be scared!”
- Greta
"The [cis] people that look the f*cking worst stay coming for people that look different! Like, I look different but I look better. It’s like, work on your own look before dragging someone else’s. Transphobic cis people are very uncomfortable in their own skin and their own identity and what they’re doing, that, they’re really just fixated on you and I’m just like, 'do you own a mirror?' Because I do. I LOVE what’s going on here. I’ve cultivated it, I’ve sat with myself and talked. Like, I can tell some people do not sit with themselves, someone who’s truly comfortable with themself is not worried about what I’m doing."
- Valentine
"Date who you want. Be safe about it. Don’t overstep your boundaries and prioritize your happiness--but be safe! Consent on your end and your partner’s end is SO important--not just in terms of sex but it's also equally important in dating. Did I mention be safe?"
- Zak
"Don’t look to heterosexual dating as a guidebook. I think this is a mistake I myself made. I had only been exposed to heterosexual couples in high school and before so I figured that those were the norms that I had to follow. Queer-dating, or any dating for that matter, can be whatever you want it to be, as long as you and your partner are on the same page about what you both want. Also know yourself before you get to know someone else. In a past relationship I feel like the other person tried to make me what he wanted me to be, and it ended up making for a really uncomfortable and unhealthy relationship, because I wasn’t sticking up for myself or expressing what I wanted/who I was."
-Dennis
