an exclusive interview with:
Stefan & Nathan
Q: In your own words, what is gaydar? Is it accurate?
N: Gaydar is a sixth sense, like when you just know that someone’s gay. I’d say its accurate about 50% of the time, but it depends on the person.
S: Yeah I don’t know if gaydar is accurate but I like to think it is just because I think a world where I can connect with someone before ever speaking to them would be more fun. I think its nice when you pass someone on the street and just by looking, you both connect in some small way.
N: I want gay telepathy.
Q: Introduce yourselves. How did you two meet? Who was the first to express interest?
S: We met when we got to RISD, in the first week, through POSE (Pre-Orientation). We were friends for a while and then started dating sophomore year. I was the first to express interest, or at least my expression was more obvious.
N: Oh stop.
Q: Besides the obvious, in what ways do you think Queer dating and traditional heterosexual dating differ?
N: You can't show off and be in public in the same way straight people can. You tend to feel watched more when your on the street.
S: Yeah I agree but I also feel a little empowered by being watched. It’s like public spaces are already impersonal, so when someone watches you holding hands with another guy, they kind of become voyeurs in a way. Being the watched comes with little power, but knowing your being watched gives you the opportunity to break the safety that voyeurs need.
Q: Has social media had an impact on your relationship and/or queer dating itself? Positive? Negative?
S: I wouldn’t say social media has impacted our relationship. I'm pretty much a luddite and we met irl so it really hasn’t played a role in our relationship.
N:Yeah, I don’t think either of us use social media enough for it to have any effect.
Q: Have your parents/guardians expressed any opinions about your relationship? Are they aware of it?
S: Mine are, they seem fine with it. They like Nathan but it’s not something we talk about in any meaningful way. I think they’re trying to be accepting while also grappling with their lack of experience when it comes to anything queer, which is understandable.
Q: How have you and/or your relationship changed from when you two first met? How have they stayed the same?
S: I don’t think our relationship has changed much since it began. We know each other better now than we did then, so I guess that’s different.
N: Yeah I think the only thing that’s different is that now we communicate better.